Moving on? Not quite yet.

30 April 2009

Yikes, even my counsellor thinks I should move on. I deemed her wrong and didn't make another appointment. I think that like many of my friends, and definitely my family, she doesn't know what to say to me. Found a lovely quote the other day:

My friend, you do not say to me 'cease grieving'. Thank you. Until it is time to do so, I cannot stop this process, however strange and undesired it may be. But I promise you, your nearness now will help to bring my mourning to a gracious end. Molly Fumia.

Went to see my naturopath Natalie today. She gave me some homeopathic tablets and some bach flower essences to help deal with my sadness, as well as probiotics and a new herbal mix - one that's safe in pregnancy.

My liver is great now, according to the freaky VEGA machine. I've been reading up on hormonal balance and have a long list of things I can do. The diet I've been on and exercise I've already been doing is part of it so I'm already on my way.

Even if I get the cholestasis again I'll be very healthy! I've lost heaps of weight. Would never recommend having a baby die as a weight loss method, but at least something positive is happening in my life.

Natalie said that my luteal phase is long enough to support a pregnancy. I'm 10 days til ovulation (which is a very regular day 17 for me), so 7 days til we should be trying in earnest. I hope I don't feel too down. I've said all along that if I don't feel like doing it, then it's not time yet. Not that we haven't had sex at all since January, we have, just not since I've been feeling particularly low the last couple of weeks. It seems like Steve is never home at night anyway now that footy season has started.

He's out now so I'm off to do the dishes.