I think it's time for me to get some joy back again. I may have to wrestle it back. Luca would be 4 months old this coming week and it's hard to focus on positive things. I keep thinking about how he would be smiling heaps now and his little personality would be emerging. But I'm determined to have a more positive week.
I really hope I become a better person because of Luca. I know I am a changed person and I worry that it will be for the worse.
Some of the positive things I can think of are:
- Having Steve at home for 3 months
- If we have another child he or she will be a child we would not have had
- I'll be able to help other people who lose loved ones
- Some of my relationships have become closer
- I am more grateful for Eliana
- I have learned a lot about myself
- I've lost weight and am healthier
- We have a beautiful front garden, as we replanted it to remember Luca by
- Life and love seem more precious now
- Hopefully I'll end up with some friends I would not have met otherwise
I'm going to go to a playgroup on tuesday that's for families who have lost babies. Hopefully I will find some people to talk to as I worry my friends are getting sick of it after 4 months.
My new weapon in the potty training arsenal is working. Lego. A big bucket of it. She's allowed to choose a piece to add to her lego collection every time she sits.
No comments:
Post a Comment