Sunday, August 9, 2009

All sad and no one to talk to

10 June 2009

I've been finding it harder and harder to get anyone to talk about Luca or even listen to me talk about him. Even friends who used to talk a little are sick of me. I'm sorry I'm still needy. I'm sad that I'm still sad. But I just am. I should be settling my little boy into childcare. Preparing to feed him 'solids'. And all around me I have babies doing what Luca should be doing. I just want to crawl into a corner and cry. And if someone could hold me when I cry, and not turn away, that would be perfect.

I'm getting spotting again this month. It makes the 2ww shorter anyway. I don't know what to do about it. It's just over a year since the day I found out I was pregnant with Luca. I was so happy. And I was so happy during his pregnancy that I wouldn't have to worry about fertility ever again. How stupid was I?

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